Core Flaw

Core Flaw

~Miss A

There's a flaw in my core,

In the system that defines you and me, I'm alone,

I'm a facade- all gone,

When you come to find me, there's no more,

As if I'm on shots of vervain,

You try to chase me- won't find me,

In the end,

It's just me, it's just mean. 

You try to put me into customs,

Delish with precious jewels, reeking of chains,

Had too many chances,

And too many diffrences,

One, but never will be,

Lost, but never found, and still,

What runs you- runs me,

Those freckles, keep counting.

Not strong, just rigid,

Not heartless, just timid,

How do you miss- every significant sign,

Boots? Far away from being worn, never seen,

All those hours, I spent, drenched in agony,

Silent-sobs, didn't even recognise the numb voice,

Peacefully heavy and colder mornings,

Ruffed eyes, rugged head, and missing moreso.

And I'm out here consoling, midst anxiety attacks,

All thanks to you, I keep getting reasons to live,

You won't know of it, 'cuz I got responsibility,

Sensibility and sensitivity, second section of duality,

Acceptance of no flowers, opening the doors myself,

Fantasize, till reality tells otherwise, do it for own,

All the dreams they showed us, compromised,

Us, to be the benefactor, a dish. 

But through the glass realm, knew the chaos within,

Knew the other lives are a lie, didn't ask for another,

How shein, how un-precious, to be something that's not,

A piece to be hated, now and ever, for no crimes,

Shall we have not terrorized a mutiny,

Let's be serious, life is actually sweet to some,

Everything bends, you just need to have some money.

I can give you my gut on paper, but you don't like to read,

Where is the blue bird, I never seem to catch a glimpse,

There are no great lengths, it's just a bottomless pit,

I keep falling and falling, and then I jerk out of the sleep,

And then I dream again, of Harley and Joker,

Where snitching on Quinn, gets someone a deadbeat,

Some trusts are never broken, it's a pact to continue,

Wether together or not, wether it means anything.

Tierd of running and running, and after you chasing,

Found no rewards, for my offerings of your well being,

I know it would a single mewish help me, before I exit,

La Seine, and the detective would be me on like who it,

What was I like, likes and dislikes, places and paths,

You won't know anything, no friends no enemies,

My throat is all burned from vomiting,

In a negative health attack, you won't look back to check on me.

And with my PTSD, after two business days, I'll realise,

I'm free of earthly possessions, nothing remains, not even memories,

Lord, I'm at your place, I do not know what to pray,

The things that are bound to happen, will happen eventually,

You've forgotten me, stepping in the sun and it's suddenly cloudy,

In the end, we're all just absolutely pathetic,

It's midnight, let's sneak into the kitchen, cook me something,

Would you sense me gone, would you walk to me?

I might have been just anyone,

But to you, always a little different altogether,

For others, cold and bitter,

For you cold coffee and bittersweet.

Been the person, who when you sleep,

Uses the phone on the lowest volume,

The person, who tricks you to understand what you like,

And secretly buy it out, a surprise that leave you guessing how,

Subconsciously analyzing your every emotion, making amends,

To befall oneself into the other's cardinal shape, be there as needed.

When someone asks, what have I done for this love,

I won't be able to answer, for I hold it rather stays untold,

For this is a luxury I can't extent to others, 

It is as private as it is demure,

My body has started behaving like a savage,

I find you next to me, relax prunes and sleep allures,

I try to play with you, try target and to mock,

I try to lose, a compitition I don't want, I gawk,

Why do you have all features, that models try to sell,

Maybe that is why, it is so thought to stage makeup to men.

I have a need now, to know how you are at a particular moment,

When you're in the second realm, I touch your skin to know your comfort,

Is the blanket, too rough, is the cold too light,

I try to make sence, so that your dreams could perish without discomfort,

And for a second you leave me, I'm wide awake,

Are you okay? Is everything alright? How the hell, did I let the hell befall,

I think I've lost my glamour, I'm the worst at responsibilities but here I am,

Almost like a child to me you appear, even though we never met then,

I'm sure you've never dared to look at me, where is all the confidence coming 

from now,

I'm always there for you, I promise, I never betray, I hear you, love you for who you are.