Counting Mistakes
Counting Mistakes
~Miss A
With nothing left to say, what do I speak about,
Finding fault in my everything, where do I speak my round?
Though we’d be counting our smiles, why are we counting my mistakes?
Am I this bad, was I really that clumsy, thought I knew my stakes,
But every time your smile disappears, I get a deep guilt churning,
I never did, or would think of hurting you ever, my rebel in my throat burning.
Finding fault in my everything, where do I speak my round?
Though we’d be counting our smiles, why are we counting my mistakes?
Am I this bad, was I really that clumsy, thought I knew my stakes,
But every time your smile disappears, I get a deep guilt churning,
I never did, or would think of hurting you ever, my rebel in my throat burning.
Do my opinions not matter, for I say them, but it’s then all my mistake,
Has my heart in a titter-tatter, I was never wrong, but still forgive me,
Over and over, every time, why are we counting my mistakes?
If I keep everything to me, if I keep apologizing, when am I really speaking?
Where would I go, where do I complain, about the harassment of life,
This and this, and that and this, everything I do, wrong, cross, who do I be?
Has my heart in a titter-tatter, I was never wrong, but still forgive me,
Over and over, every time, why are we counting my mistakes?
If I keep everything to me, if I keep apologizing, when am I really speaking?
Where would I go, where do I complain, about the harassment of life,
This and this, and that and this, everything I do, wrong, cross, who do I be?
Haven’t counted for a day, let’s do it, let’s count now,
The reasons you felt a still over, and for what I am running,
I am not even sure if my say is sincere anymore,
Just accepting, to see you smile, to see you happy, to put you above all,
But maybe that’s not something you’d like to replicate, you’re so tall,
All this buff, where is it taking us, I know my path, hollow forward,
But I’d accept being soul-less, just to be near, so let’s count again.
The reasons you felt a still over, and for what I am running,
I am not even sure if my say is sincere anymore,
Just accepting, to see you smile, to see you happy, to put you above all,
But maybe that’s not something you’d like to replicate, you’re so tall,
All this buff, where is it taking us, I know my path, hollow forward,
But I’d accept being soul-less, just to be near, so let’s count again.
Not a morning good, lord; not a nighty night, lord,
Too focused on work, lord; too busy-Oh! A crime, lord,
Too present, oh lord; too unavailable, oh lord,
A meeting missed, oh heavens lord nothing comes out of it,
Always fighting, always seething, when have you last heard of me?
Shit! Did I say this? I.. am, I am deeply sorry, I regret it.
Too focused on work, lord; too busy-Oh! A crime, lord,
Too present, oh lord; too unavailable, oh lord,
A meeting missed, oh heavens lord nothing comes out of it,
Always fighting, always seething, when have you last heard of me?
Shit! Did I say this? I.. am, I am deeply sorry, I regret it.
What am I even living for? Lord punish the one who taught me to say sorry,
Thought as a remedy, for forgive, and to be forgiven, to put it all past,
It’s past you, that should be enough right, better than blatant forgery,
Who said the magic words were sorry, thank you and please,
Why is this magic torturing me in ways, I thought could make sense,
Enough for you to look at me, with a realization that I have no faith or morality.
Thought as a remedy, for forgive, and to be forgiven, to put it all past,
It’s past you, that should be enough right, better than blatant forgery,
Who said the magic words were sorry, thank you and please,
Why is this magic torturing me in ways, I thought could make sense,
Enough for you to look at me, with a realization that I have no faith or morality.
Do I not seem sensible to you? Has everything I’ve done for you never highlighted?
Can’t you see my trust funds, can’t you see I’ve always helped, always forgiven, always begged?
Can’t take this, you’ve buried every good of me, there, counting mistakes of me,
Never thought so before, but you made me realize, am I really that bad,
That nothing good could ever come out of me?
You’re so green, I am not even a red flag, I’m black and I’m deep blue.
Can’t you see my trust funds, can’t you see I’ve always helped, always forgiven, always begged?
Can’t take this, you’ve buried every good of me, there, counting mistakes of me,
Never thought so before, but you made me realize, am I really that bad,
That nothing good could ever come out of me?
You’re so green, I am not even a red flag, I’m black and I’m deep blue.
I had you, I have you still, but I still cry alone in the corner why?
Wasn’t it your responsibility to be by my side, to hold me when I cry my life,
Why am I alone in this, so alone, feeling all this brutal while being guilty,
I’ve done everything, changed me in so many ways, with just a simple mission,
To be with you, to cherish you, to make sure you never cross path with pain,
Maybe I made this wrong decision, but if I had a choice, I’d do it again.
Wasn’t it your responsibility to be by my side, to hold me when I cry my life,
Why am I alone in this, so alone, feeling all this brutal while being guilty,
I’ve done everything, changed me in so many ways, with just a simple mission,
To be with you, to cherish you, to make sure you never cross path with pain,
Maybe I made this wrong decision, but if I had a choice, I’d do it again.
For I would rather die, then to see you suffer, so I bear it all myself,
But now it seems that you’d be that way, having me not around you at all,
How do I bear this? I promise instead, count my mistakes, I’ll correct it all,
Correct me, corrupt me. Desperation really does gets us on our knees,
Used to call me with love, stupid and crazy, now the words seem serious,
As if I actually belong to a mental hospital, dumb like the cattle, lord my catastrophe.
But now it seems that you’d be that way, having me not around you at all,
How do I bear this? I promise instead, count my mistakes, I’ll correct it all,
Correct me, corrupt me. Desperation really does gets us on our knees,
Used to call me with love, stupid and crazy, now the words seem serious,
As if I actually belong to a mental hospital, dumb like the cattle, lord my catastrophe.
Guess you vision has blurred, lens of love all scratched,
I don’t blame you for me, I blame me, I’m sorry,
I am sorry for existing, sorry for being so unperfected,
Things that I was the most proud to be, I would apologize sincerely,
It’s always a mean world, never expected anything of them, ever; but it’s you now,
The one who promised to love me unlike anything, why do you see fault in my everything.
I don’t blame you for me, I blame me, I’m sorry,
I am sorry for existing, sorry for being so unperfected,
Things that I was the most proud to be, I would apologize sincerely,
It’s always a mean world, never expected anything of them, ever; but it’s you now,
The one who promised to love me unlike anything, why do you see fault in my everything.
How much you’ve lost you won’t even know,
You won’t even know, I never slept all those night, you got angry & disappeared,
You would never know, how my heart punished me seeing you hurt,
The debate in my mind, to tell you how it is for me, and to think of the result then kill it,
Passion, pain, ominous atrocities; heath, sheath and the deed,
To apologize to you for nothing, and mirror it to my soul, holding a disjoint bleed.
You won’t even know, I never slept all those night, you got angry & disappeared,
You would never know, how my heart punished me seeing you hurt,
The debate in my mind, to tell you how it is for me, and to think of the result then kill it,
Passion, pain, ominous atrocities; heath, sheath and the deed,
To apologize to you for nothing, and mirror it to my soul, holding a disjoint bleed.
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