NWH

 Hello Who?


India : No way home


I remember the lyrics we sang on top of our lungs, our national anthem, the song that told us stories of amazing diversity and inclusion of individuality, tradition, culture and the pledge that all Indians are brothers and sisters. The politics of our country has stared to make me doubt it. 


Where do I go, where is my home? If I remember correctly a home is a place where one feels safe, but I'm in constant fear of religion and language chaos, comes haunting to me in reality.


I might be wrong at places, and I'll be happy to correct me. When I was five, I realised, our culture didn't respect women's throught, it respected out bellittlement. A good women should be someone, who's lips are taped, is a good sandbag, and in public ethereal in the sarees and traditional dresses, that perfectly hides her bruises. 


I am from Bihar, and though culturally rich, it faces the same issue of women as leaders as a naysay. Struggled there, understood what misogyny is, worked hard and took a job in Bangalore, happy away from my state. There are reels everywhere where I see women are happy in a place noone knows her, and it's true, a better home than our home could ever be. 


Recently, I wore a crop top, properly a peplum top, nothing even revealing, only that it just had broad straps and not a full sleve. I was traveling on a scooty with my boyfriend, and we were to meet a bunch of our friends in a restaurant for a get together. While stuck in traffic a local man approached us and asked are you Indian or NRI? Confused I asked why? He blamed me for ruining the culture, the tradition and the mentality of the whole city, and told me to leave Karnataka and go back home. 


My boyfriend, stood up for me and stated arguing, that it's my body, I can wear whatever I want, what is his problem. The man from scooty got down having a gesture that he would start a fight. That was also not the problem, I knew I didn't do anything wrong. But I noticed the rikshawala nearby, all started getting down. In a state of panic, I said, I'm sorry. And mind myself, I've only recently started to teach myself not to say sorry, when I'm not wrong. I asked my boyfriend to stop arguing and leave. I won't have done that, but I also had a fear, that if something happened and I called the police, I feared the police would blame me as well. 



Now, it made me think again where is my home, maybe I'm spiderman for I have no way home. 



Getting mature, I've realised, this country is making it hard for me to breathe freely. When I have a few drinks with my girlies, I saw them all breaking down, for a working woman taking her stand, feels for them too, that it's a tightening rope around the neck. And I heard them all say, they want to settle out of the country, and not even wanting to stay in touch of their parents, and then there's me wishing the same thing.


To run to a place, where we're not obsessed, are respected to have our own mind, where feminism isn't a curse from misogny, where we feel safe, a place we can call home.



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