My Tangerines

My tangerines 

~Miss A

To you my love 🍊 

I am cold again, my bones see spikes of ice,

Very narcissistic, again who am I, noone,

Never saw through the walls, never looking back,

Never understood, the cinematic relevance,

The running, the hush, the silence gap of the curtains falling,

I'm zoned out, for the first time I could relate.

Next to you, I finally saw my vision getting charred,

So happy, how do I tell you, you're more than someone,

You're an alibi, ask me once, and I'll be there to clean your knife,

For a lesson deep rooted to never trust never lean,

I saw you in a very different light, 

I let go of me, with you I'm extraordinary, I feel alive,

But for the mannerisms unlearned, I hurt you, something I fear a lot. 

I'm there trying to pick you up, trying to make you understand,

That you got me on my feet, you're way more than I,

Hard to tell you with words, even way harder to spell,

But out of all I want to make, I wanna tell you, you're my prize,

For every mishap, you're a gift, bokeh of paradise moment,

And then I'm everything you don't want, I'm lost. 

I don't know, who to tell, who to hear, I'm cold,

My clear night has again become cloudy,

You were something for me, people died to be for me,

But this is about you, and I feel lacking, not enough,

Never been a giver, never learned to lay open my generosity,

And I'm trying to be everything, but I don't know, you aren't able to comprehend me. 

I'll take this all, take this all, as my mistake,

I apologise, for I'm not going away, I'm practicing to be better,

For I could hear you better, hear you right inside to your core,

I'll be there in the outskirts of your life, always on standby,

I feel sisterhood, something out of the world that I feel here,

And no darling, I am never judging you, not even questioning.

Only hearing you, trying to support your decisions,

And with yourself, I'm pleased, you're perfect,

When life gives you lemons, it's my tangerine,

You leave my side and I feel my ship sinking,

Maybe I'm not the one who you feel is the one to share this bond,

I happily accept your way of please, humbled self, but I stay guard. 

I'm writing this to let you know, if you feel I could be heard back,

Or even if not, anytime you need, I'm still there,

I'll stand behind you, even in the tide against of traffic,

Maybe you'll laugh with me, maybe once again cry,

Maybe you'll forget this little dark soul, 

With you my feel are itchy, keeps jumping and dancing.

Out of mind, vision charred, years pass like seconds,

With you, my attitude out of control, my life of night feels breeze,

It's okay, I'm used to being alone always anyways,

While you're not here, I'll keep my humbled warm breaths of life bottle,

I won't let it break, won't let it freeze, I'm good at keeping secrets,

I'm your wellwisher, I'll always be, wether you or not mind. 

My tangerines, seem very sweet to me regardless,

From my tree of spectrum, it's never sour,

Wished too much to sit by you late beach nights,

Get lost in the noise of waves, and a general humn of the night,

Dear demons, 25 years wasn't enough, continue to keep me drowned,

Breathing isn't good for me, I prefer suffocating now. 

🍊