Where are you

 Where are you?

-Miss_A

I am uncertain,

Uncertain about what I want, what I need

The more I'm more uncertain, the more my mind clears out

Waking up with a shock in the midnight

And can't help myself to sleep

My mind simply so nerve-wreaking

Forcing me to walk out, midst my lazy lazy

Something is not right, the breeze needs to be colder

Alas, I don't even know what I am running away from

The darkness of the night isn't pitch black,

I'm hurt, this cloak of warmth that I'm not into

I put my fav song on, volume the loudest

Singing the words inside, or say screaming

Every beat too distracting, too rough, yet too soft

Until I'm myself a piece of creation of the voice itself

Playing on repeat, not loud still

I lay by my face and close my eyes, my world speeds up

As if I'm in racing in fast cars, the air cutting me

I sigh in disdain, it's here

The cold wind, the pitch black darkness, the loudness

Trying to distract myself from something

I don't even know myself, what lies in this crust

I'm numb, and finally I shiver, as I see it take form

"Where were you?" I ask him. And he doesn't mark my words

"You are late!." Surely I don't wanna fight now

But I can't stop myself, this is becoming irresistible

And all I can do is nag. Like a indescribably angry cat.

He doesn't mind it. Or me. Or anything.

He just stirs his smile and stares at me.

And I wanna see more of this dream, in my sleeplessness

The music is too rough, something you'd call noise pollution

But it just feels too good. I'm laid up, yet I'm dancing

Wishing I could keep this secret to myself,

How my body reacts to know the presence of you

And I'm too egotistic, I'm ready to erase every inch of you

And then nights like this, you would still show up

Forming new clouds of fantasies, I'm a dud when it's you

Why I'm so curious of you, I've made you

I've made this beast beautiful first, now it's my turn

To burn in the pyre ambush of you, make myself perfect

Why do you know everything? 'My performances'.

Don't you know, you shall hate me of this

Yet you'd watch me do it again. Making me feel disastrous

As if I'm a deadly poison and you'd kill for one sip

You shan't sip this portion, but I see you acting

It's raining now, and I serve myself in your menu

Please make me feel like- I need you like you need me

I want to be crazy, I want to be a pure mess dearly

This cloak of warmth can't hold the coldness within

And I'm stuck in what kind of behavior I can't exhibit

Knitting up new conspiracies, blasting up my head

Of you, as his name escapes my mouth, "Ethan"

I am confused, I didn't call him, becoming frequent

Just what am I actually chasing?

I have new scene I would create for you

I can see it again, it's been a long time of meeting

I would be staring at you, misbehaving in front of you

You love it as well I know, you truly love watching

You have to make you 'Sin' long for you

I'm dropping my senses now, the cold became freezing

I don't know what I'll make you do until you get me

I'm amused, lets keep this affair a secret

Until I make you too toxic to breathe out of

And I see it's morning already.

Comments

  1. Ashul Yadav13 August 2020 at 09:04

    You ll be killed tomorrow 😎😎😎😎😎

    ReplyDelete
  2. Unknown13 August 2020 at 10:48

    Don't let ego destroy any part of u

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Miss A Underscore25 August 2020 at 22:25

      Well a therapist said, ego is the part of you, that some where makes you what you are.

      Delete

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